I'm Getting Old(er)

White chest hairs - and some on my beard as well - were confirmation last year that I'm starting to age. In a month, this will be confirmed as I hit the big 21.

It's known that puberty isn't meant to last longer than when us males are, at most, 18 years old, but this onset of losing hair colour has made me think that I'm already starting to suffer the effects of the 'other' puberty at quite an early stage! I have no idea as to why this is so - maybe it's University stress (yeah right, this semester was already quite bad, so what's going to happen next semester!?!) or maybe it's because intrinsically, I get agitated quickly on quite a few occasions...? I struggle for answers in this regard.

I'm kind of looking forward to being 21. It actually means that God willing, and depending how much studying I put in - which, judging by the looks of things currently doesn't seem too over the top considering that I'm updating this blog (but what can you do if most of the work you have to do is already prepared; how much can you actually revise and re-revise things?) - I'll be looking at the best part of my first degree, which although means nought in today's society, nonetheless gives me three letters behind my name. It's something to be proud of, something to look forward to, a goal to achieve. The first step towards, hopefully, bigger and greater things.

It also means that my licence is no longer on 'probation' period and will be turned into a permanent one, renewable every 10 years. Yes, I already got the ADT form for its renewal despite some people evidently believing that I should have no place on the road at all! But wow, looking at this again, now, that's really something minor. Well, I think practically anything is vis-a-vis this age after all. What's the big hype about being 21... it's just a number, after all. 18 is probably more significant as it marks the start of adulthood and, consequently, more independence than one could have ever imagined.

But perhaps it just means that it is the beginning of a new year with new adventures ahead. Perhaps it's nothing more than just that. It should maybe mark the year when more maturity starts to settle into our systems, but I feel I've passed the potential threshold for that. Long ago, might I add; perhaps too long ago. That is, however, subjective. I always felt I was the one to be less 'fun'; to be more of a 'fatherly figure'; to be someone to lean on and keep things in check; to, 99% of the time, have the calm head when so required. Maybe it's the events that have marked my life that have driven me to turn out like this. Maybe it's the way how I would see things around me that would make me not want to emulate people's mistakes. Maybe it's because I'm just the type of person who doesn't settle for anything other than this character that I've developed.

So yes, I'm getting older, but it's just a number for me. For others, it might be something more significant than that. For some, it might mark the turning point in their lives. But for certain, we just never know what the future will confirmedly hold for us in terms of who we are and what we do. We can plan our lives and plan our events accordingly, but whether these will be fulfilled is something out of our hands, out of our control.

Nobody knows.

God Bless You all,
Matti