If I Died Today...

Late last night, while reflecting away in bed having been woken up by the computer restarting itself at half 3, thoughts of what would happen if I died suddenly today or in the near future passed through my head. Why, I don't know; and quite frankly, I'm hoping that I won't be passing away anytime soon(!), but it just happened. I thought about what kind of 'legacy' I would have left behind me in the event that this happened, but to be quite honest, I didn't really think much further than that because the subject was too sordid and it was not exactly the appropriate time to do so either.

Now is the time to reflect about this slightly - I'll leave the rest to whoever feels like commenting afterwards (if any person does, that is). One thing for certain, I believe, is that I would have left behind a cloud of controversy in my wake. I've never been the most uncontroversial person around and indeed, have always seen myself as trying to push certain borders and boundaries in order to either prove a point or get my way, no matter how correct or incorrect I was. However, in light of the controversial nature, I think that over the last couple of years or so, I have become a better person overall, compared to what I used to be. Granted, I was never one who would go out every Friday night, or any other night for that matter, and get stoned out of my head or dangerously high, but I believe I have become a better person in the sense that nowadays I see myself as a less egotistical figure and someone who is more willing to bend over backwards to not only accomodate other people, but to help them out to the best of my abilities, where possible. In other words, the humanitarian within me, I feel, has emerged more over recent years.

Of course, what is sure to draw some form of criticism from my readers, as is generally the case (but I will never back down about this, no matter how many sticks, stones and derogatory terms are thrown at me) is the fact that another 'legacy' that I would have left behind me is that of getting closer to God and, in this light, hopefully being an example for others to follow. Perhaps it's coincidence, but the above point vis-a-vis my (willing and not enforced) humanitarian nature coincided with the same time that I made God a part of my life. Of course, various people will or might disagree on this point completely, and I wouldn't be surprised if they do, but I believe that God's presence in my life has made a hell of a big difference with regards to the way I live. With Him in my life, I feel fulfilled and I feel a sense of protection that I previously didn't feel.

Would I have achieved everything that I set out to achieve in life? Definitely not, but if I had to go sometime soon, then for the most part, I feel that I would have left a general positive impact on people's lives, even though certain people obviously wouldn't see this and believe that my effect in life has probably been the total opposite.

And now, if you wish, over to you. (Any derogatory comments posted will either be ignored completely or be subject to deletion.)

God Bless You all!
Matti